Wile E. Coyote: New York Times reporter
Doo-dee-doo-dee-doo... now where did I put that protractor? Ahh, here it is! Let me see... if the hypotenuse the parabola of a pregnant teenager... is inversely proportional to the approval ratings of the religious Right... then if I set the azimuth of the baby scandal catapult to 72.415 degrees, she'll be crushed as flat as her barren Alaskan tundra. Muwahahaha!
...Egads! I must say, sometimes I astonish even myself with my own genius!
And now, to bait the hook. Simply load in this explosive charge into the cup... unghhhh... pull the lever and...
Wfwell, Backh to tphe oldl drawbling bloard.
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